Yin and Yang

Every year on this day I am flooded with memories.  Surprisingly, not all of them are horrible.  I remember returning to my hospital room after my first surgery.  My sister taped pictures of George Clooney all over the room.  ( I am a tad bit obsessed with him)  It made my hospital room way more appealing.  My first visitors were my dear friends, Deb and Kristen, I remember them making me laugh so hard it hurt.  It really hurt.  I cannot recall what they were saying, but anyone who knows them can definitely vouch for them always making you laugh.  My friends from Maryland sent food to the waiting room for my husband and family.  Yep, from hundreds of miles away they sent food.  My brother calmed my mother's nerves by joining her for periodic breaks from the waiting room.  I am sure he never knew what his kindness meant to her and to me.  At one point after surgery, I had so many family members in my hospital room the nurse threatened to kick people out.

It was a tough week for our family.  A mere 6 days earlier we were in a waiting room at a different hospital while my father had brain surgery.  Yes, you read that correctly.  A few days after my diagnosis, my father came over.  He walked into the house with his arms full of groceries.  This is my dad.  He is always thinking of someone else and he is always helping.  He set the groceries down and we started to talk about my upcoming surgery.  Then he calmly explained that the tumor that had been in his brain for years grew.  His doctors wanted to remove it right away.  In hindsight, we should have booked the same operating room and asked for a discount!!  He was very calm about his upcoming surgery.  What upset him the most was that he could not be there for me.  My husband promised him  that he would let him know that I was okay after my surgery.  He kept that promise.  After sitting in a waiting room for 7 hours then running home to check on the kids, he drove to the city to see my dad and tell him I was okay.  My dad had some complications from his surgery, but swears that he remembers David speaking to him that night.  

Our family endured two cancer diagnoses within three weeks of each other and two major surgeries within a week.  Yet so many of my memories are happy.  Cancer sucks.  There is no denying that.  But the people in my life made it bearable.  They made me happy.  During a time in my life where so much was wrong, I was happy.  How could I not be happy with a room full of visitors?  How could I not be happy when everyday I opened the mailbox I found a card or a letter?

When I think about my journey with breast cancer, I think of the Yin and the Yang.   Yin & Yang:  Opposite or contrary forces that are actually complementary or interconnected.  

I have these horrible memories, but I have so many wonderful memories too.  Without all of these happy memories, I would not be here today.  I am convinced of that.  They gave me strength when I had none left. On a day like today, the memories that enter my mind are all the good ones.  The memories of the people in my life that were there for me every step of the way.  For that and for so much more, I am grateful!