Perspective

I am in a parenting funk!   I am easily set off by every argument between the kids, every sock found stuffed in the couch, and every request for "only $5." 

I think back to when the kids were little. They cleaned up their toys at the end of every day.  I even sang the Barney "Clean Up" song while they were diligently putting their toys away.  The kids were appalled if they heard the words "shut up" or "stupid" cause those were bad words.  The only rooms that got messy on a daily basis were the playroom and the kitchen.  The schedule was mine to control.  If we wanted a day in our pajamas, we got it.  Bedtimes were set and stayed the same all week long!     

Today I am living in complete chaos.  I have a thirteen year old daughter that has lost a pair of shoes.  The explanation she gave, "maybe I left them somewhere?"  I replied, "did you ever come home in bare feet and not notice?"  I recently purchased two new lunch bags and water bottles.  We currently have one of each in our possession.  I cannot go more than 5 hours without hearing the following, "mom, do you know where my (insert any item) is?"  "Mom, what time is my practice?"  "Mom, did you finish my laundry yet?"  (my two girls do their own laundry, so this question drives me insane)

When my children were young, I embraced all of these tasks.  They depended on me for everything because they were little and still learning.  My memories of their childhood include teaching them responsibility.  I attempted to raise responsible children that would one day become self-sufficient.  Someone PLEASE tell me when that day will come???? 

I am so far from that point right now.  My 15 year old came downstairs today and threw some food away from her backpack.  A moldy drink and an unidentified smelly food item.  It is Tuesday.  The drink and unidentified food is from Thursday (Friday she forgot to make her lunch) and it has been in her room the entire weekend.  I do not make my children's lunches.  (teaching responsibility)  However, I am fairly certain I have now identified the foul odor in her room. 

The bickering.  I do not think my children can look at one another right now without bickering.  It is like nails on a chalkboard for me.  I try to ignore it, but it keeps going.  I hear phrases like "I hate you" thrown at each other.  That was a definite no-no when they were young.  There is even physical fighting at times.  I did not grow up living with siblings.  It was just me.  I fear this is why I do not have any patience for the bickering, because I simply don't understand why it must occur every single day!!!  

Today our schedule consumes us.  The end of the school year is very demanding and busy.  I am hoping that is the reason for the funk.  I am hoping that summer will relax everyone and life will return to organized chaos.  These kids are driving me nutty lately, but yesterday I saw in my children what I love most.

We spent the day at the beach yesterday.  When we arrived, a boy approached us asking if we needed help setting up.  We declined the help, but he still came over to talk to us.  He was probably 22, but with a mental capacity far lower.  My children did not try to send him away.  My son went to the playground with him for about an hour talking and swinging with him.  My girls chatted about school and life with him.  He returned throughout the day to chat with us.  As he left, he told them they were all friends for life and they followed one another on Instagram.  (I guess that is like exchanging numbers from my time) 

It gave me hope that I did something right.  They may be slobs and argue a lot, but they treat others with respect.  He told us about his high school experience and bullying.  My kids made him feel good about himself.  They made me proud.  The things that matter most (how you treat others) they get. 

Yesterday gave me a new perspective.  I need to focus on the good in them, because that definitely outweighs the bad!  I am off to clean up this pigsty and locate some lost shoes.......