Played by a 9 year old

Lately Andrew has been questioning the existence of Santa.  He is saying things like, "I just don't buy that there is a guy who makes presents for millions of kids."  "Reindeer cannot fly!"  "How can a guy travel all over the world in one night?"  I've been hearing these statements for months now.  He always ends with, "You can tell me it's you mom."  My response is always the same, "If you believe you will receive."

I thought I was dodging the issue quite well.  I thought I'd have one more year of our Christmas Eve rituals. Every Christmas Eve we leave Santa cookies and a glass of milk by the fireplace.  Then we put some carrots outside for the "flying" reindeer.  The three kids always sleep together on Christmas Eve.  They track Santa's movement on the internet and race to bed when he gets close.  We cuddle in bed and read Twas the Night Before Christmas.  Once they are quiet, David and I begin wrapping gifts.  Not sure why, but I am always wrapping on Christmas Eve.

I'm going to miss our Christmas Eve traditions.  This will be the first year that none of my children believe in Santa.  You see I blew it last night.  Andrew set me up and I walked right into his trap.  I got played by a 9 year old!

I was putting Andrew to bed.  We read a nightly devotional before going to sleep.  Tonight's was about honesty.  The devotional explained the meaning of integrity and the importance of being honest.  We finished reading and Andrew says, "It's okay to lie sometimes though."  "Like to tell someone you like their clothes when you don't."  "Or if you don't want to hurt their feelings."  We began talking about those situations and ways to be honest without hurting their feelings.  I remember thinking this is a really good conversation. He is really opening up.  I basically patted myself on the back.  Then he says, "it's okay to lie when you tell a little kid there is a Santa Claus."  Without a thought I answered, "yeah, but that is different."   He responded, "GOTCHA!"  "I knew it."  "I knew it was you."  The kid completely set me up.  He knew from his first question what he wanted to accomplish and he succeeded.

Now he is reminding me over and over how I admitted that I am Santa.  He is so proud of himself.  I must admit I never saw it coming.  Santa really needs to watch out for this kid.

To save or not to save

I posed a question on Facebook today and was surprised by the responses I received.  It left me rethinking my decision.  My daughter, a high school freshman, left her novel at home today.  She needed it for class and called asking me to drop it in the office.  I responded, no.  I am surprised by how many people thought I should have brought her the book.  

Last night at back to school night, Andrew's teacher told us that if our children forget their homework or lunch not to bring it to them.  Their LUNCH?  If I received a dollar every time I dropped their lunch off at school over the years, I'd own a new Coach bag!  The speech last night did not influence my decision.  

I have a standing rule with forgotten homework.  I save you once.  After that, oh well.  I realize I did not give Gabby her one save.  Here is why:  SHE IS IN HIGH SCHOOL!!  

She had enough time to ensure her phone and make-up were in her backpack.  She had enough time to see if the cute boy down the street left for school before us.  She had enough time to put on make-up and pick out the perfect outfit for the day.  We left for school 15 minutes before usual because she was sitting around ready to go.  Oddly enough, there was not enough time for her to make her bed, pick up her room, or grab all of her school work needed for the day.  I am not going to run a book to the school because she forgot it. When will it end?  Will I get a call in college asking me to bring her the term paper she forgot in her dorm room?  

I will always be there for my children.  I am willing to do anything for them.  However, they need to be responsible.  They need to learn to take care of the important things FIRST.  I do not feel this is tough love. 

I think it is a little lesson in priorities.       

The dreaded exam......

I am super excited to face my next challenge.  The dreaded California Bar exam!  I am also terrified.  Last night at class, our professor handed out a letter to give to our friends and family and it freaked me out.  Here are a few pearls of wisdom the letter contained:

• Expect your loved one (that's me) to be "gone" for the next three months.  They may be right there beside you and not there; she will be thinking constantly about exam fact patterns while eating and showering.  Your loved one will dream about the bar.   (I am going to be really boring.  I can't even sing in the shower anymore?)
• The person you knew as a slightly crazed law student will be taken over by "Bar-it is."   (I don't even know what this means exactly, but I was more than a slightly crazed law student...does that mean I will be deemed certifiably insane by the time I take the Bar?)
• Your loved one is competing against thousands of other people- young people, just out of law school, many with little or no work or family commitments.  (I am screwed. (excuse my language)  I am old with many family commitments  Thanks for this!!)
• Expect your loved one to say "NO" to all social commitments.  Tell your friends not to even ask.  (Isn't this a bit extreme?  I mean I have to eat lunch and exercise can't I drag a friend along for a break?  I can even give her a few fact patterns during our run.....if I accidentally tripped you right now because I have fact patterns clouding my brain and you fall and break your leg am I negligent?)  
• Delay any important decisions, major changes, arguments until after the Bar.  (If I have done anything to tick you off, yell at me in three months please)
• Try not to take the moodiness and tension that sometimes comes with Bar stress personally.  (and if you do we'll argue about it in three months!)      

I am not sure how my classmates felt about this letter but it stressed me out more than the actual exam!! 

I will not be as easily accessible until August 2nd.  However, I am not going to hide in a cave until the exam.

I have friends and family I care about and they will hear from me even if it is a text once a week or to go on a run with me.  (promise I will NOT trip you)  This exam is the most important I have ever taken.  I am going to take it seriously, but I need a balance.  I need time with my family and friends or I will go insane!  I have three kiddies and a husband that may have a problem with me being "gone" until August.  

I understand the message behind the letter.  The Bar exam must come first.  That is going to be difficult because I have never put my family second.  I will make it up to them on August 3rd!  Until then, please send happy thoughts, prayers and understanding my way.  

Bittersweet...

It seems to be the word of the day for me.  Well, not exactly for me but for my daughter.  My mother always tells me that any pain, sadness, sorrow I feel....she feels too.  Boy oh boy do I understand that now.

Two weeks ago Gabrielle injured her knee in soccer.  It was the second game of State Cup.  Gabby and the goalie were racing towards the ball.  They arrived at the same time.  Gabby shot....the goalie blocked it and Gabby went down.  I saw the look on her face when it happened and I knew she was in pain.  However, I did not expect a ruptured ACL, torn Meniscus, torn muscle behind the knee and a sprained MCL.

See why I didn't think it was that bad?  All smiles!

The day after

Today her team has made it to the final four!  Gabby is with her teammates and friends all smiles, and I am in tears.  As I am writing this, Gabby sent me this text..."everyone on the team pitched in for a jacket, I am loved!"  Once again, I am reminded that our friends and family are amazing.  I have had friends that have stopped by just to give her a hug.  Friends stopping by to check on her and bring her flowers.  She has gotten cookies, cards, and tons of love.

Gabrielle has a long road ahead of her.  She is currently attending physical therapy three times a week.
They are preparing her knee for surgery.  The surgery will replace the ACL and fix the meniscus.  After surgery, she will have another 6 months of physical therapy.  She has continuous pain.  You wouldn't know it being around her.  She rarely complains about the pain, but I know it is there.

I know there are people dealing with far greater issues than a bum knee.  But for us right now, this is a big hurdle.  I am continuously in awe of her ability to handle the situation.  She still has her goofy sense of humor, and a positive attitude.  I am sad that she is not playing with her team today.  I am sad that she will miss her freshman year of sports.  I am sad that she is in pain and scared that she faces surgery.

I know that God has a plan for her. (a wise friend reminded me of this yesterday)  She will work hard over the next year and return stronger.  Hopefully, the next time she is chasing down the ball and sees the goalie coming......she will jump over her instead of take the shot!!!!

Best teammates ever!

 

A reminder

Life has been so busy lately I feel our family is becoming disconnected.  I hear the kids arguing more often and I am lacking patience.  Then I watch them shower their sister with homemade gifts and all the bad disappears.  I am in awe at how much love they have for one another.  We are big on homemade gifts in our house.  Andrew wrote all over a plastic storage bin filled it with candy and a book...voila the perfect birthday gift.

He wrote on every side

We created a little scrapbook for Gabby.  Each of us wrote her a message and Andrew's blew me away.  He wrote, "I think of you as a rock star a roll model and a nice sister.  I love you and I am sorry for all the times I been mean to you.  Your loveing your caring your everything a brother wants.  I love you."

Does it get any cuter?

They really spoiled their sister tonight and it makes me smile.  Sure, they drive each other insane at times, but they adore one another too.  I am one lucky mommy!!!

I am also the mother of a 14 year old daughter.  How in the world did that happen so quickly?  Boy does she make me proud.  I cannot be around the girl without smiling.  Usually cause she is doing or saying something silly.  She is who she is and will not change for anyone.  I admire that so much.  She is a pretty special girl.  Days like today remind me not to sweat the small stuff and to cherish every moment.  Happy birthday Gabrielle Renee!

Birthday girl!

  

 

That time of year....again

The other day my husband asked me to hire a cleaning lady until I take the bar exam.  Apparently, I have been a raging lunatic lately!?  What he fails to recognize, and not for lack of caring, is that my increased stress level is not because of a messy house, finals, and the July bar.  It's because of the phone calls I've ignored for over three weeks.  I finally got the courage to return the calls to my doctor and my yearly appointments are made.  When I received my breast cancer diagnosis, I visited the doctor every two weeks.  Once I finished chemo, every three months.  After two years, my appointments were six months apart.  Once you reach the five year mark, yearly appointments.  Last year I celebrated my sixth year of being cancer free! (in Vegas with my amazing sisters)

During my six year appointment, my doctor explained that triple negative breast cancer is most likely to recur within the first five years after diagnosis. (you can learn more about triple negative here)  It is very rare to find a recurrence after five years.  The next words my doctor said were,"you're cured."  If I am cured, why am I so stressed about my yearly appointments?  Because I do NOT trust cancer.  Cancer does not care about statistics.  Cancer does not care if after five years it is not supposed to return for an encore.  The disease is like a psychopath.  It lacks a conscience, manipulates you into thinking you are healthy, and ruins your life if you let your guard down.  I am just not comfortable with the words, "you're cured."

I am not sitting around waiting to get cancer again.  After my diagnosis, I worried about my disease every second of every day.  Almost seven years later, I do not worry about it at all.  I did everything I could to ensure that I would be healthy forever.  My fate is not up to me.  I have put all of my faith and trust in God.  Only He knows how I will leave this earth and when.  There is no reason to worry about a disease that could come back.  I could walk out of the house and get hit by a car.  At this point in my life, I have more of a chance of getting killed in a car accident than from a recurrence of cancer.  Still, these darn appointments increase my stress and put a pit in my stomach.  The appointments force me to think about the cancer.  I don't want to give this disease one second of my thoughts.

Nonetheless, my first appointment is tomorrow.  I can only hope that these yearly appointments eventually cause less stress, otherwise my husband may kick me to the curb once a year.  If you have a loved one that is a survivor and they get a bit crazy around the time of their appointments, now you know why.  Give them a bit more love and understanding.  

End of my rope...

As a parent, I probably reach the end of my rope once a month!  I am pretty patient with many things, but the house is definitely not one of them.  When my house is messy and cluttered, I seriously feel like I cannot breathe.  I cannot stand clutter.  I know a messy house is not something to get all worked up about.  I have a healthy family, friends, blah, blah, blah!  I have heard all of these comments from friends, my husband, my mother.  Bottom line...if my house is out of order, I feel out of order.

The problem is that my house is out of order a lot these days and it drives me insane.  To quote my eight year old son...."watch out she's gonna blow!"  I ask very little of my children.  During the weekends, they are asked to help clean.  However, school weeks they are only required to make their beds, keep their rooms clean, put sports stuff in the garage and pick up after themselves.

Does this look like my garage?

Those are CLEAN clothes on the unmade bed!

Two seconds to throw that comforter over the bed...

What you don't see is the 5 blankets and over 20 stuffed animals on his bed.

I am a broken record.  Reminding them of the small chores I expect done everyday to help me out.  Even when I remind them, they don't do it!  I have gone on strike in the past, but that doesn't solve the problem it only makes it worse.  Today I decided that I would mirror my children.  I listened to them the way they listen to me.  When Gabby asked for help with her hair this morning, I said "in a minute."  Ten minutes passed and asked again....I responded, "hang on."  By the end of the morning, it only caused frustration.  I am at the end of my rope.  I have tried chore charts, allowance, lecturing (take pride in your home...blah, blah, blah), consequences (they cannot leave until the work is done), and yelling (which never works).  I am worried that by the time I become an attorney, I will need an attorney.

I am going to re-open all of my parenting books and figure out a plan that doesn't involve a live-in cleaning lady, figuring out how "I Dream of Jeannie" did the head thing, or purchasing every wand in Harry Potter Land hoping one actually works.  Happy cleaning!